This will start pretty Christmas-centric, but the takeaway is more universal. The underlying premise is that caretaking is hard work. And most everyone experiences that in their life.
I'm exhausted. That bone-weary tiredness that even a long nap doesn't alleviate. The tired where you don't bounce back with rest, some food, or a little chill time, quickly.
I have post-Christmas exhaustion. Like millions of moms who take on the bulk of holiday preparation, I'm left with a dirty kitchen, presents to put away, and family members absorbed in whatever they got today. And I'm in some penguin pajamas trying not to think about anything I need to do this week.
Millions of moms like me spent months getting ready for this time of year, and now it's going to be a day of trying to get it undone. I got ahead of the inflation and ordered the bulk of the presents in July, but taking down the dying tree won't wait until then.
I will give it to our chickens, a perfect roosting spot for them. They will love the leftover Christmas dinner, although our turkeys will be offended to have their brethren to feast on in addition to leftover butternut squash and stuffing from our plates.
I asked for Tupperware for Christmas this year. I ask for something practical for our whole family every year. It is like my version of the SNL mom robe skit, where my mom-ness is celebrated in the most mundane way. But everyone gave me Tupperware, so now I have a mountain of it to find a place for. Just one more thing that seems tiring.
Why do we caretakers put ourselves through this? And I'm a pretty laid-back mom without having to go to other relatives’ houses and a small family to attend to. So, my stress level is probably not as high as other people trying to please a crowd. Nonetheless, my focus is on giving during these holidays. I am a caregiver throughout the year, but this is an embodied American tradition where we moms are too tired even to breathe a sigh of relief after.
The fact is that this act of caregiving may be a positive and a negative role model for my daughter. Negative because it is coded feminine in our house. But, positive because she sees caregiving on steroids. However, my 22-year-old son, who always spent Christmas with his biomom, bought multiple presents for everyone for the first time and seemed to enjoy giving and receiving in a way I have never seen before. Isn't that what this holiday tradition is supposed to teach and reinforce?
Regardless, I'm tired now, but I wish everyone a good holiday and hope your spoons haven't run out too much. Merry Christmas and happy holidays to you and yours.
Melissa