Nov 13, 2021 • 3M

Social media judges you… you care?

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Appears in this episode

Melissa Miles McCarter
Melissa Miles Mccarter on pop culture, mental health, family, and more.
Episode details
My daughter

There is a picture I am not going to share on my private Facebook account. I won’t share the story behind the photo there either.

It’s a story that’s very meaningful to me. However, I decided not to share the experience there because social media judges you.

Well, to put it more specifically, people on social media may judge you. But, when they do, it can feel like that everyone on that virtual landscape is against you.

The picture is of my daughter getting a shot.

It’s a story about vaccinating my daughter against COVID-19.

(You can read the story behind this photo for free here, if you would like.)

Hopefully, now that you know this medical decision, you will not judge me. You won’t see me as a bad parent, or try to convince me that I made a bad decision. You won’t unsubscribe (or unfriend) out of disgust. You won’t speak ill of me and strive to ruin my reputation.

I decided not to share my decision to vaccinate my daughter on my personal Facebook because I was afraid my “friends” on there would.

I was afraid they would judge me.

Unfortunately, we are in such a politicized world, there might be people I know on there who would do that. They would judge me for a medical decision I made about my daughter.

The sad thing is, I am not as worried about being judged by strangers. You have to have somewhat of a thick skin to be a writer. It hurts when they do react negatively to anything you wrote, but it isn’t anything personal, really.

But, on Facebook, some of these “friends” may choose to be the judge, jury, and executioner. These “friends” might even be my relatives and neighbors in real life. These “friends” might even be friends.

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

So, you might ask, why don’t you just unfriend them? Why not stop interacting with them on social media? The fact is, I have done that over certain issues. I won’t comment on certain posts, I will scroll on by. I have unfriended people.

I have to decide about each controversial post or picture, or thought: is this is a hill to die on?

I keep my private social media circle small on purpose. I have public social media for writing, but rarely post stories or articles on my private accounts.

I can’t say I am innocent of judging people on social media. So, it’s not me pointing fingers at horrible people I should just not be interacting with. At times, my own “judginess” has gotten the best of me and I have not always had restraint. It never feels good when I do judge, but it’s human nature.

So, at least for me, my solution is to not post anything controversial on private social media. In fact, I mainly share updates and pictures about my daughter. But that’s where it gets difficult. This update, that my daughter got vaccinated, is controversial.

But, it is also very important for us personally. It means the peace of mind we have wanted for almost two years. And, yet, people would call us sheep for wanting that peace.

So, what about you?

Do you separate your personal from your private in terms of social media? Or do you even care? Or do you just keep your circle tighter, only interacting with people who are supportive no matter what? Or do you risk alienating people?

When is it a hill to die on for you?

When social media judges you….do you care?

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Me and my daughter, at the pharmacy